Frustration

So tonight I lost 50$ of my Mother's money!!!! She is being cool about it and told me not to worry but still 50$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so much money to me! I just feel like a complete idiot, honestly how do I manage to do things like this! I know everyone makes mistakes but more often then not that person is me. I am always looseing things...it is like important things are repelled from me. I lose my keys almost everyday sometimes two or three times. I just forget what I did....I think I have dementia...ok not really but sometimes I feel like I am losing my mind...I proabably set it down somewhere and forgot! I know my Mom will let it slide but honestly I just feel horrible. She should not have to let slide 50$ of my stupidity! I knew when I took it out of her wallet...I just had this funny feeling but I took it anyways...UGGGG!!! 50$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Down the drain!....I am trying to make myself feel better and I keep thinking that it went to some person who needed it...who wasn't going to get to buy their kids toys for Christmas or something....it is not working though...Joy another thing I get to feel guilty about for the next 40 years....ok I hope it does not take me that long...maybe I will just scrounge up the money and pay her back...yeah...I will pay her back...it is the only way I will feel better. Don't mock me...I know I am crazy.

I like lists....

I don't actually like lists all that much...but recently some people in my life have mentioned the fact that they fulfilled things they "always wanted to do" so I decided to make a list....yes folks this is my bucket list.
In no particular order....

1. Swim with Sting Rays in the Caman Islands.
2. Go to the Caman Islands
3. Go scuba diving
4. Own a salon
5. Graduate college with a bachelors degree
6. Ride the carriage around Temple Square during Christmas time.
7. Go to Europe
8. Go to a Foreign Country
9. Do a loopty loop in an airplane
10. Go to all the major Church History sites
11. Go to some major Civil War sites
12. Go to New York and see the Statue of Liberty
13. Go to Disneyland
14. Go parasailing

Please note I reserve the right to change this list at anytime....:)

So yeah those are a few of the things I want to do in my life. They are really just random things but I think that is the point. Now at least someday when I get to do one of them (or hopefully all) I can say "I just did one of the things that I have wanted to do all my life" and when that day comes I will just smile inside...

Reflection

Well it is finals week and that always makes me think about the semester. This semester has been one of the best!! It is kind of amazing...Let me start earlier...Last winter semester I had a very hard time. I felt like I was kind of lost and not sure where I wanted to go with my life and I just didn't really care that much. Well after a lot of coaxing Jen (My roomate and Best friend) convinced me to go to California with her and live there for the summer. I did and I am very grateful for it!! I lived near Pasadena. I worked as a caregiver and met the most amazing people, our singles ward was AWESOME!! and most importantly I remebered who I was and what I stand for. While I LOVE BYU-I it can be overwhelming and one can begin to feel like you are never good enough. It begins to wear on you. In California I was reminded that I am a good person and there are always new people to meet and have fun with. It was also a nice boost of confidence to be persued by a few guys. I guess it is kind of hard to define but California was great for me...I did not want to come back to school...at all!! But I did...

This all leads into this semester. My roomates are the greatest set of girls I think I have ever met!! We laugh together, cry together, and eat loads of chocolate together!! I will miss them terribly when they are gone next semester but I know we will be life long friends. I also gained a new close guy friend...I always complain that it is impossible to make new guy friends because of the whole marriage thing but I was mistaken. It has been a great experience getting to know him. In fact I have several new guy friends come to think of it. This semster I have still been a slacker and missed lots of class but not as much as in the past. I am getting better and after all isn't that what it is all about? I still have my days when I feel like I have so much to go...and I do but there are more days when I get those quiet assurances that I am on the right track. I have been reminded why this school is great and such a unique experience. I am learning to enjoy the moment, discovering that savoring each little insignifigant moment makes life so signifigant.

So this is my spill...life is great and I am grateful for the fun times this semester!!

Life is beautiful!




This is Me, Tenika and Jen at Halloween.
I was Recycling, Tenika was a Fairy
Jen was a Ninja!!


Ok you can refer to the above mentioned costumes and add Solveig as a Bunny and Susan as a cavewoman...Soooo much fun!! LOVE these girls!!

This is Me and my roomates plus one....Me, Tenika, Jen, Susan, and Solveig at Guitars Unplugged....soooo much fun!

The first one is Jen's Dad and her little sister Brianna who was my roomate for the summer.
This one is Jen's Mom and her brother Kevin. Thanks for letting me stay with you Family Wall!!!!!! Love you guys!!!



This is part of our singles ward the greatest people!!!



Here we have the AMAZING Holly!! She took me swimming in the ocean for the first time in my life and taught me all about sas!

Ok I caved

So I am one of those people that hates doing something just because everyone else does, however having a place where I could vent my thoughts seemed like a good plan. This is the second time I have caved on something in recent weeks. I was talked into reading Twilight. It is a good story and interesting but not worth my time to read the rest of the series. I can hear about it from everyone else!! Haa haa...ahhh the benefits of living with 4 girls.

Finals are coming and thank goodness!! My finals week should be easy I just finished up a 11 page paper. It was very difficult for me I have a hard time writing for english classes and it was in APA format which I had never done before. The research itself was interesting. I researched how to create a non-profit. Some of you may know, it is my goal in life to own a salon and have a non profit organization to help the less fortunate. My main focus is battered women and children. The paper was fantastic because it motivated me to do the reasearch I needed to do to decide how to make my plans happen. I disovered that with a little hard work and some blessings from the Lord my plan is in fact a not to distant reality!!! It was rather inspiring to realize something I want so bad is possible.

So I guess the moral of this story is don't complain about 11 page research papers, they can be a benefit to your plans! :)